I wish our theater would make it so that if you need to, you can talk to an actual person.  Their machine isn’t answering my question, and I spent fifteen minutes listening to this strange, circus-ice-cream-man-type-music before I realized there wasn’t a human being that was going to pick up on the other end. 

So.  Lame.

I wish my dreams would get on board with this whole “Getting over him,” thing.  It’s really inconvenient to wake up with him on my mind because that’s what I dreamed about. 

Karaoke last night was fun.  I sang soooo much my voice is like gone now.  And I smoked entirely too much,woke up with a monster headache.  Need to do that more often.

I miss Desirae.  And I miss him.  And I hate that I miss him.  I’m trying hard to let him go but it’s not happening.  So lame. 

I mean I thought once I managed to accept everything getting over him would be the natural course of events.  Who knows…maybe it is and I’m just being impatient.  I know exactly what it was, now.  He was too young.  He didn’t know what love really was, had no idea what he wanted, and instead of just being honest with me, he thought it would be easier to lie and string me along.  I get it.  It happens.  People make mistakes, that’s what being young is all about.  I just wish it didn’t hurt so much to think about him. 

This is the part where usually I would count on Desirae to tackle me if I tried to call him.

1. Umbrella (Yes, I’m very serious.  I have to walk everywhere.  It’s rainy and cold and water + my hair = unstyled and lame.)
2. Toe Sox (Everyone knows the only good socks are the ones that have individual socks for every toe and come in ridiculously awesome colors and patterns.)
3. Fingerless Gloves ( Do they defeat the purpose of gloves?  Perhaps.  But I like them. )
4. Cute hats ( I LOVE CUTE THINGS! )
5. Steampunk ANYTHING ( Everyone knows that if it’s steampunk, it’s amazing by default. )
6. Boots ( I also love boots. But no uggs.  ew.)
7. Cute tights/leggings ( <3 they make me happy. )
8. A badass digital camera ( Because mine is broken. )
9. An iPod touch ( My mp3 player is great and gets me through, but it doesn’t have enough room on it. )
10. Laptop. ( So that I can carry Tumblr with me wherever I go. )

Kinda broke that promise I’d made to myself.  But I’m back now.  For a while.  I think I heard something about possibly losing internet soon.  Lame.

Desirae’s leaving tomorrow and that makes me sad.  I’m really looking forward to moving out of here myself.  I need a job really desperately.

So desperately that today I submitted my resume to someone hiring a horse ranch hand, and stared at an ad for a good fifteen minutes looking for female escorts.  And bookmarked it.  Yes, I’m serious.

I’m trying really really hard to get over Andrew but it’s just not happening as quickly as I’d like it to be.  I removed him from my facebook, erased his number from my phone and vowed never to call or contact him again without a good damn reason.  And by good damn reason I mean Lillie had better be in the hospital or I had better remember that I left something at his house or something.  Then, last night, once again…I dreamed about him.  It’s starting to piss me off.  Why can’t my dreams get on the bandwagon?  I just want to let him go and move on. 

Never.  Taking.  A.  Virgin.  Again.